WHEN POWER GOES ROGUE: How Do We Use Social Media?

I’m not a fan of social media when it comes to solving conflicts. At its very best, social media can educate, spread a little good information, even stir a conversation. At its worst, social media is a dumpster fire, a dung heap of resentment, revealing the worst of humanity. It is a tool that is detached from embodied presence. People can tweet, facebook, snap chat or whatever, with little or no thought, no reflection on what their words are doing to a person. Things can go hostile quickly. A tweet of almost any kind can set you off against someone, creating more conflictual animus than there was before. This is the modus operandi of social media. It’s a clearing house for hate and vitriol.

Therefore, going public with a church conflict is always a last, a very last – hopefully – never  used option.

The first thing we do when we have a church conflict is be the church. This entails the practice of Matthew 18:15-20. We go to the person, we say humbly, “I believe you have sinned against me when you ________ .” (Or I believe we disagree on  _______ .) Then I usually say something like “I submit to you.” Can you see what I’m saying? Can you hear me? I’m listening. I’m praying. Asking the Spirit to work. Can we agree on anything I just said? If the Holy Spirit is at work, and the person I’m in conflict with is open, God can use the moment to examine our lives, work for growth and transformation in both our lives and our church.

I admit, one hundred percent, that it’s dangerous to say “I submit to you” to anyone, particularly someone who is in power over you who has abused that power. If the person I am speaking to endangers me, or has already shown a pattern of disregard, abuse, violence, I must bring a friend, or two, a fellow church member, an abuse advocate, someone to be present and resist evil. In the spirit of Matt 18:15-20, that person must protect me. (I have written elsewhere, when done right, the action of “I submit this to you” can be an act of strength, agency and empowerment). If the church is really a church, the leader will submit to the one bringing the charge, by listening carefully, by evaluating, by checking out the charge, by submitting to the other person’s voice with all sincerity. It is the way of Jesus. It is the way of leadership in the Kingdom.

If a leader cannot or will not submit to someone they have hurt, or disagreed with, if the leader cannot listen, then, in my opinion, they are disqualified from leadership in the church. You cannot lead a community in the Spirit if you cannot submit to the community in the Spirit. For sure, not every one who brings an accusation against a leader is pure in motivation. Resentment, narcissism, projection is present in humans everywhere. But I cannot think of a time when I did not learn from someone by submitting to their challenge in my life, no matter how little we ended up agreeing on the issue in the end. Submission, humility, listening is the mark of a Christian leader. I haven’t been perfect at this. I have sometimes failed at this. But whenever as a leader I have followed in this way, I have never been sorry.

Having said all of this, there will be times, and I’ve seen it a hundred times, when leadership rebuffs Matt 18. The leader, in taking up worldly power (power over), believes he or she acts on behalf of God. Or perhaps, the leader just assumes he or she is better at this than everybody else. Ego starts to take over. Whatever he or she thinks is right is justified in the name of God and/or “my genius.” However this takes shape, and it can take shape in a multitude of ways, worldly power aligns with structures, and gets locked in. Abuse can take up residence in the organizational structure itself. (Diane Langberg talks about this) The organization turns toxic. Worldly power goes rogue.

At this point, if there is no accountability within and or from without (say a denominational structure), this abusive power can go on for long time, justified in the name of God’s mission, and no amount of going directly to the person will unravel it. The leader has his/her hands tightly on the wheels of control. At this point we must either leave the church, or it must be disrupted. And here is where I believe social media can become a useful, if still flawed, tool.

To me Matt 18:15-20 is a test. Will the accused leader submit to Godly power or reject it, walk away and continue further in the ways of abusive power. It is the test that reveals. Godly power, as revealed and unleashed in the person and work of Jesus, refuses the ways of worldly power. In the words of Jesus: “Not so among you.” (Mark 10:43). Godly power is mutual, submitted to the Spirit, one to another. And so Matt 18:15-20 can become a test. Will this leader submit? Or will he/she go rogue?

In the face of worldly power gone rogue, we who live under the power of Jesus, must remove ourselves from being in the way of it. But what do we do when there are no accountability structures, or the very structures of the organization underwrite the worldly power gone rogue? There are so many powerful mega churches who live within a structure of power unto themselves, as empires unto themselves, that this has become a regular feature of American life. It is so destructive. I grieve this. Jesus despises this. When all accountability is lost, I have seen social media disrupt the abusive powers gone rogue in more than one mega church, when nothing else seemed to work.  So again, here is where I believe social media can become a useful, if still flawed, tool.

So three short words of advice on using social media to disrupt locked in abusive worldly power.

LAST RESORT: It should be used only after attempts to engage, confront, listen, Matt 18 with the leader(s) on the issue. Try to let the community work first. But as we see often, the elders, the boards, who have been absorbed into the abusive leaders system/influence as part of the way he or she legitimizes leadership, can be locked into the power structure. After many attempts to get the issues addressed by the leadership body, the logjam stays firmly entrenched, and abusive or bullying diminishing behavior can continue its harmful effects. The space needs to be disrupted. The logjam broken. Social media is at this point a last resort.  

MINIMIZE ITS USE: We should not try to solve all the community’s problems on social media. For all the reasons already mentioned, social media has enormous limits. All it can do is disrupt. Don’t try to do more. Don’t let it destroy people’s lives.

ALLOW SPACE FOR THE SPIRIT TO WORK: After a disruption, allow space for the Spirit to work in people’s lives, repentance, lament, reconciliation, restoration. Perhaps it may never come, but it often can come after a disruption. Most people’s lives awaken to the Holy Spirit’s work deep within them and all around them when deep crisis comes their way. At least that’s been true in my life.

Always interested in hearing your comments.

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I have a new book coming in early 2024 on Reckoning With Power with Brazos Press

I have a seminar coming in March on Reckoning With Power with V3 Church Planting, you can sign up here.

·      Note on Northern Seminary. Many of you know of the disruption at Northern in relation to Northern’s leadership. This post is not meant to be a commentary on anything at all going on at Northern. But it does give you insight as to my own reservation, and minimalist use of social media when it comes to Northern’s current discernments. 98% of what is going on with me will be person to person, or phone call to phone call, zoom meetings with students etc. Thanks everybody for honoring that.